Self-reflection through the materials encountered before is essential.
Recently I stumbled upon a TED Talk video, Are you a giver or a taker, on Youtube. Although I’ve watched it in my early years in college, yet I still feel a bit curious about the clip. The magic of brushing up (retake) the same articles, books, or videos is that they refresh our mindset and value. As we grow up, of course, we have to improve ourselves on job performance, knowledge, making ourselves more experienced and sophisticated, these articles or clips will become valuable materials again when we can truly absorb them. When we can resonate with these materials through our experiences or knowledge to have “Eureka moment,” that’s the time we digest.
Back to the topic, are you a giver or a taker, it’s a thought-provoking topic for us. Everyone knows that takers are not so helpful to a team, but we have to face the truth and ask ourselves in the dark, silent moments of the night: am I a taker?
We all start by being a taker.
Takers and givers surround us because we are part of them. Most of us are Matchers: helping is like payback for someone’s previous kindness. It’s a simple choice. We all have the experience of cooperating with “ free riders,” I’m sure most of them came in the form of excessive talking and little or no action. Those “advice-giving only” members often encumber teams, and it is also annoying to work with them.
On the contrary, we all love responsible givers who are willing to devote themselves to the team and make everyone better. However, here comes a question, if you are not good enough, how can you be a giver? If you are not competent, how can you lead your team and weather them through the storm? Therefore, the truth is, we all start by being a taker.
Knowing yourself — Dunning Kruger Effect
Stay hungry, stay foolish — Steve Jobs.
Don’t get me wrong; takers are not always devils. It’s all about attitude. If we are voracious learners and stay humble, that will benefit yourself and the people around you. The famous quote Steve Jobs said on Stanford 2005 commencement speech perfectly corresponds with the Dunning Kruger Effect. “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.” The Dunning-Kruger effect is a type of cognitive bias in which people tend to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are; those are the people on the peak of “mountain stupid.” This phenomenon is something you have likely experienced in real life, perhaps around the dinner table at a holiday family gathering. Throughout the course of the meal, a member of your extended family begins spouting off on a topic at length, probably about the stock market, boldly proclaiming that he is correct and that everyone else’s opinion is stupid, uninformed, and just plain wrong. It may be plainly evident to everyone in the room that this person has no idea what he is talking about, especially when you are among a bunch of real “Wall-Street” bankers. Yet, he prattles on, blithely oblivious to his own ignorance.
Please don’t be ashamed of your ignorance, be ashamed of your unwillingness to overcome it. An easy way to solve this problem is to be humble and learn as much as possible, being an ordinary taker. Also, here are some solutions in this article — Dunning Kruger’s effect. Try to be humble when you know nothing.
From a taker to a giver
When we understand we are ignorant in some ways or specific industries, we start to make progress and catch up. That tiring and the exhausting process is called the “slope of enlightenment.” On the slope of enlightenment, people accumulate their knowledge and skills. After this progress, they can witness their change. That change is a linear process from being a taker, a matcher then ultimately becoming a giver. People sacrifice their time, energy, and even money to polish themselves, hoping to become a true master. Most important of all, they understand the bitterness and tedious hard-working process through continuous repetition and practice. They become more experienced hence are able to build connections with people in specific fields quickly and started sharing. People are willing to share their experiences with the humble takers who ask for suggestions or help. That is to say, in the valley of despair, they were humble takers, but through practice and sacrifice, they gradually become givers.
It’s all about our choice.
Cleverness is a gift, and kindness is a choice — Jeff Bezos
I know, not all of you are willing to be a giver. Some people tend to keep their knowledge or experiences to make themselves outweighed than others. For example, in academic performance, some students would refuse to teach their classmates because they consider everyone contenders. There is nothing wrong with that, but it portrays your world as a place full of anxiety, exhaustion, neuroticism, and vicious competition. You might lose the beautiful moments of helping each other, building connections, and making impacts. The chances are that those who are competent but not willing to give is because they don’t know how it feels. Giving, helping each other is the origin of happiness. You’ll likely feel a sense of achievement in return for helping someone out.
Cleverness is a gift; kindness is a choice; we can choose what kind of person we are going to be; we can choose to help each other and build mutual trust, and finally, we can choose to be a giver, to make this world, better!
